Tag Archives: The Grown Life

Stealing



Okay, maybe not stealing stealing. A few weeks ago I found myself sitting bored and alone in a bookstore, so when I came across a copy of Sylvia Plath’s ‘The Bell Jar’ I took the opportunity to crack it open. It’s been almost 10 years since I read that book and even longer since I really enjoyed reading. I remember that this was one of my favorite books my Freshman year in High School, but I couldn’t have even told you the plot, it had just been too long. Anyway, I make my way through the first two chapters during that visit to the bookstore, but alas that book was about $15 and I had (read: still have) about $2 to my name, so I put the book down and moved on.

A few days later, bored again (this is a consistent pattern in my life) and without any plans again, I found myself at the bookstore, reading through the next few chapters sipping a diet root beer. (side note: most of my delight in diet root beer from the bookstore comes from that fact that it comes in brown glass bottles and middle schoolers there always think I’m drinking beer & ask me about it.)

This continued for about a week and a half, if I didn’t have plans I found myself and Barnes & Nobel, scoping out a comfy chair, grabbing the book and diet root beer and just reading for a few hours. Cut to Sunday night, when I am at it again and then suddenly, I was done. I finished the whole book all in the bookstore, without ever having an intention of buying it.

I try and reassure myself, saying that I must have spent $15 on diet root beer during my time spent at B&N, but the truth is… I straight up stole that book, a chapter or two at a time. Anyway, sorry Sylvia Plath, if you hadn’t stuck your head in an oven, I would send you the $15 when I get paid on Friday.

P.S. If you ever want to feel COMPLETELY sane by comparison, read this book. The narrator is going crazy; you will never feel more sure of your sanity then when you are hearing the first person account of someone who is totally losing it. That is all.

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Suck it up



One of the least fun things about becoming a grown up is the idea that you are now responsible for your own emotions and the expression of them must now be done cautiously and with forethought.

There were days when a miscommunication with a friend could result in any of the delightful fight tactical responses; there was the cold shoulder, rumors behind their back, yelling, passive aggressive sarcasm, or my personal favorite: pretending the person no longer exists.

Adulthood does not allow for these types of responses. If you don’t believe me try any of the fight tactics on your boss and see how long you can keep your job while using them. We can no longer be immature in our emotions, we have to come to terms with mistreatment and hurt feelings, (even the times when our feelings were hurt on purpose) sigh at our lack of ability to change them, the past and other people and just move on.

There if a silver lining to this grown up change. As an adult you won’t get calls from your friends explaining that they have had a fight with a mutual friend and that you must now pick whose side you will be on or you will lose them both for life. Essentially, the down side is you can’t act like an overly emotional idiot, and the up side is neither can anyone else.

Suck it up, it’s the Grown Life.

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Manna Manna Manna Manna Rockin’ Everywhere!



What was Paul smoking? ::

“…I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…-Philippians 4:12″

Safe to say, I have NOT mastered this yet. It may be just as safe to say I never will. If history is any indicator, I am the least content person in the history of the world. I find this to be most true when it comes to my relationship with God. I am not a person who looks at God like a genie in a bottle, in fact I have always handled God saying no to whatever requests I made of him, fairly well. Where I tend to totally mess up is when he says “Yes!” but not in the way I wanted him to say yes.

Recently, I have been struggling with making friends in the new town the Lord moved me to nearly a year ago. For awhile I was content to be by myself in my spare time, breaking my social solitude with a 5 hour (each way) drive back home to see my ‘real friends’. However if you know me, you know I was not built to be alone. I thrive when i’m around other people and involved in their lives. I also, had never had a problem making friends so when I finally gave up on living a life without other people I expected the friend making process to go quickly and smoothly as it always has in my past. This was not the case. I prayed fervently for friends and when I would meet people, we just wouldn’t click and I would toss the idea of them as a friend aside and keep on searching. I kept praying and meeting people for the first time, then deciding to never meet with them again. For awhile I was beginning to think that God didn’t want me to be friends. On that subject I approached him with anger and questioning, backtalk and sass. “Why don’t you want me to have friends? You are relationship God, why on earth do you want me to have no one in my life?!” This went on for awhile.

Then I read Exodus.

I sat there thinking to myself. “You stupid Israelites! God is giving you this magical food that no one else in the history of the world has ever had, and that no one else will ever have again, and you COMPLAIN?!” You see, the Israelites wanted food, but not the food that God had given them. The way they complained would have made you think that God wasn’t feeding them at all, but this wasn’t the case. So I sat there reading away, feeling so sure of myself that I would have eaten the Manna and I would have been so greatful for it. I would never have complained to God like that and I am so great.

Then He said it, then God said “Your Manna is the friends I have given you.” Ouch! Way to hit below the belt Jesus!

Naturally God and I went back and forth, because arguing with infinite wisdom always works out for you. (okay, not really) But we went back and forth; I carefully explained to God how my situation was different and yada yada yada. Needless to say, I lost that argument and started to really think about this new truth that God just dropped on me.

You see, I have what I asked for. I have people around me that I like, that are good influences, people who I can learn from and (maybe) teach something to. I couldn’t see this because when you’re throwing a big tantrum you squeeze your eyes shut so tight that you miss what’s going on around you. My manna is good. My manna meets my needs, and as time is passing I’m starting to see that it is exactly what I need right now, and even becoming what I genuinely want.

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Doing things like a grown up girl…err I mean, woman.



I still feel weird when I refer to myself as a woman. I am still taken aback when someone asks me if I have kids. I kind of just assume that everyone will realize I’m young. However, I’m starting to realize that I’m not really as young as I’ve been thinking I am and it’s time to start living a woman’s life.

There will be many future entries on this topic but today we are just going to cover: The Art of Grocery Shopping.

I learned how to grocery shop when my mom was a full time teacher and I was in college with no job. So, my parents would give me grocery money and I would scour for coupons and discounts because any money that was left over after groceries I could keep. This was a great learning experience for me, and if everything in my life had gone as planned and I was married by now and planning a family this would be a wonderful skill for me to have. However, I live alone, I work full time and I have yet to figure out how to grocery shop for one person. One would think that it’s all the same; just buy the groceries. That however, is a common misconception. Mind you, I’ve lived on my own for over 8 months now, and I’ve just figured out, after throwing out hundreds of dollars worth of spoiled food, that I can’t shop like I’m buying for a family.

Grocery Shopping for a Single Girl Myth: Never buy premade items, they are way more expensive than If you make it yourself.

You see when I buy a whole bag of lettuce and tomatoes and carrots and cucumbers and onions and bell peppers for a salad, I spend about $15.00 and before I can eat all of it, mold will win the battle and it will get tossed out. However, when I spend $2.00 on a small Publix premade garden salad, I know it’s fresh and I will be eating all of it the day I buy it. Even if I eat one a day all week that’s still only $14.00 and it will always be fresh. The make my own salad method would produce spoiled vegetables before the week was over, therefore I get more salad for less money when I buy premade. This newly learned lesson blew my mind.

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