What was Paul smoking? ::

“…I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…-Philippians 4:12″

Safe to say, I have NOT mastered this yet. It may be just as safe to say I never will. If history is any indicator, I am the least content person in the history of the world. I find this to be most true when it comes to my relationship with God. I am not a person who looks at God like a genie in a bottle, in fact I have always handled God saying no to whatever requests I made of him, fairly well. Where I tend to totally mess up is when he says “Yes!” but not in the way I wanted him to say yes.

Recently, I have been struggling with making friends in the new town the Lord moved me to nearly a year ago. For awhile I was content to be by myself in my spare time, breaking my social solitude with a 5 hour (each way) drive back home to see my ‘real friends’. However if you know me, you know I was not built to be alone. I thrive when i’m around other people and involved in their lives. I also, had never had a problem making friends so when I finally gave up on living a life without other people I expected the friend making process to go quickly and smoothly as it always has in my past. This was not the case. I prayed fervently for friends and when I would meet people, we just wouldn’t click and I would toss the idea of them as a friend aside and keep on searching. I kept praying and meeting people for the first time, then deciding to never meet with them again. For awhile I was beginning to think that God didn’t want me to be friends. On that subject I approached him with anger and questioning, backtalk and sass. “Why don’t you want me to have friends? You are relationship God, why on earth do you want me to have no one in my life?!” This went on for awhile.

Then I read Exodus.

I sat there thinking to myself. “You stupid Israelites! God is giving you this magical food that no one else in the history of the world has ever had, and that no one else will ever have again, and you COMPLAIN?!” You see, the Israelites wanted food, but not the food that God had given them. The way they complained would have made you think that God wasn’t feeding them at all, but this wasn’t the case. So I sat there reading away, feeling so sure of myself that I would have eaten the Manna and I would have been so greatful for it. I would never have complained to God like that and I am so great.

Then He said it, then God said “Your Manna is the friends I have given you.” Ouch! Way to hit below the belt Jesus!

Naturally God and I went back and forth, because arguing with infinite wisdom always works out for you. (okay, not really) But we went back and forth; I carefully explained to God how my situation was different and yada yada yada. Needless to say, I lost that argument and started to really think about this new truth that God just dropped on me.

You see, I have what I asked for. I have people around me that I like, that are good influences, people who I can learn from and (maybe) teach something to. I couldn’t see this because when you’re throwing a big tantrum you squeeze your eyes shut so tight that you miss what’s going on around you. My manna is good. My manna meets my needs, and as time is passing I’m starting to see that it is exactly what I need right now, and even becoming what I genuinely want.